Memories Past
by Dark.Celeste777
Summary: Lily Evans has just been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With Severus Snape by her side, her owl, and her wand she's ready for anything...well, almost anything. READ and REVIEW please
1. The Letter

The Letter.

Lily sat on her bed and stared at the letter in her hand. She's received many letters that summer but this one seemed to scream out at her. It was her acceptance to her new school, not that she'd applied for it. Her parents were ecstatic...her sister, however, wasn't.

"Frrreak," Petunia would whisper to her, whenever she got a chance. Lily did not understand why. Petunia had seemed happy at first, but then a few weeks after Lily had her letter, she'd turned mean. It had gotten even worse when they went to Diagon Alley to buy Lily's school supplies. Both Lily and her mother had been running around Diagon Alley in wonder, buying Lily an owl, a wand, her robes and her cauldron while Petunia turned her nose up in disgust.

A knock on her door disturbed her from her thoughts.

"Lily dear, turn your light out. We have to get to King's Cross tomorrow and its going to be terrible in the traffic. We're leaving early."

"Yes mama," called Lily, "I'm all packed." At that moment a rather large ball of feathers soared in through her open window and hooted madly.

"And try make Desda be quiet. Throw her some owl treats if you need to."

Lily ran to Desda and coaxed her onto her arm. Desda studied her for a second then nipped her cheek affectionately. Lily smiled; at least she'd have one friend at Hogwarts, apart from Sev of course.

"Desda you've got to go back in your cage tonight, we have a long day tomorrow."

Desda hooted softly, gave Lily another nip and jumped into her cage that was beside Lily's suitcase. Lily smiled at her owl and climbed into bed, dragging her potions book with her. She'd sat and read most of her books since she'd got them at the start of summer, but since she wasn't allowed to practise magic it was rather disappointing. She couldn't wait to test out some spells and ride a broom. She began reading up on bezoars and other miscellaneous items before it started talking about how to make potions. Lily's eyes widened. She thought of all the boring classes Petunia would be taking in a few weeks, while Lily studied charms and potions and transfiguration.

"MUM!" screamed Lily, as they parked in the car park of Kings Cross, "it's quarter to eleven!"

"It's ok Lily, we'll make it."

A few minutes later they were crushing their way through the mass of people on platform nine. She couldn't see the sign for platform nine and three quarters and she started to panic. Then, out of the corner of her eye she saw a man and woman with their child run at the barrier between nine and ten and...disappear!

"Mum," said Lily, nervously. "I think we have to run onto the platform, through that wall."

Mrs Evans glanced at her husband who shrugged. Petunia immediately started protesting.

"Are you crazy freak? We'll get crushed!"

Lily glared at her sister and pushed her trolley a few feet in front of the barrier. She took a deep breath, prayed she was right and took a run at the barrier. She didn't hit solid wall, instead a few moments later she could hear owl hooting and people cheering and a large train getting ready to pull away from the platform.

"Lily don't ever do that again," came her mother's stern voice from behind her. Lily turned and saw her father and sister appear from the wall looking visibly pale. Lily apologised and went to find a place to put her luggage. Then it was time to say goodbye. After goodbyes and promises with her parents and an argument with Petunia, Lily took Desda and boarded the train, trying to hold back the tears.


	2. My Name is Lily

My Name is Lily.

"LILY EVANS!"

Lily jolted awake, her parchment still stuck to her face. She peered through her sleep ridden eyes to the girl was was waving her hand before her face.

"Earth to Lily?"

"I'm awake, I'm awake," muttered Lily, disengaging the parchment from her cheek. She peered groggily at it, until she realised her three foot potions essay was just a huge black blob. That jolted her awake. "Oh no!" she cried, as she stretched it out on the table in front of her. "Mary, look!"

Mary looked up from her Arithmancy book and pulled a face.

"Isn't that due this afternoon?" Lily groaned an affirmative and glanced at her watch. It was already one in the morning. Mary yawned, and but her book aside. "I'm sure we can fix it. Just siphon off the excess ink."

"It smudged, it didn't fall on it."

"It's a good thing Slughorn likes you then. Come on, let's go up to the dormitory and try get some sleep. We have herbology first and those plants like to sneak up on you."

Lily stretched her limbs and got up to follow Mary up the stairs; until she heard the portrait door open. She turned her head but couldn't see anything. She frowned slightly and called up the stairs, "I'll be up in a minute, just going to try the siphon spell." She reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. Pointing it randomly around the room she spoke to the empty room.

"Alright, either show yourself or I swear I'll hex every direction I can think of."

A short laugh from beside her made her fall over her own feet.

"Morning Evans." James Potter materialised from the empty air, as if shrugging off a cloak. Shortly after, Sirius also appeared, folding a cloak under his arm and nodding to her. James held out his hand to help her up from the floor, but she slapped it away. "Oh come on Evans, don't be like that. You're the one that had to be all heroic in calling out to an empty room." She leapt to her feet.

"Potter where the hell have you been; its one in the morning...what...where _have _you been?" James and Sirius exchanged a look. Sirius shrugged and turned up to the dormitory stairs, whistling casually.

"Why do you want to know so bad Evans?"

"Because we're head boy and girl dammit; we're supposed to set an example to everyone else. You going off gallivanting at night is not how we do that."

James looked at her as if deep in thought. Then smiled. "Alright Evans, I promise, no more sneaking out at night." Lily was dumbfounded. She opened and closed her mouth several times, causing James to raise his eyebrow at her. "You alright there Evans?"

"Lily."

"Excuse me?"

Lily slapped herself mentally. "My name is Lily, not Evans." Dammit, why did she say that? Now he'd think she actually liked him, or at least, could stand him. She met his eyes briefly. He was looking at her as if she had three heads, or an extra eye. "Night Potter." She quipped and flew up the stairs to the safety of her bed.

Dammit.


	3. Dates, Friends, Lies

Dates, Friends, Lies

Lily dragged the plate of sausages towards her, yawning loudly. She'd barely gotten any sleep that night as that stupid conversation with Potter had gotten under her skin. Why on earth did she give him permission to call her Lily, she thought, as she added ketchup laboriously to her plate. He was the most arrogant boy she'd ever met, self centred, annoying. Like all he cared about was being popular and how good he looked. Not that she thought he looked good. His black hair always stuck up at the back, even when he messed it up it barely made a difference; running around the school like he owned the place, with Black and Lupin at his side and Pettigrew trailing behind them. And now he would call her Lily, as though they were friends after six years of being...well... not friends.

She speared one of her sausages and bit into it savagely. She propped her head up on her other hand with her elbow on the table and looked down the table. She remembered walking through those doors six years ago, amazed at the candles suspended in mid air and the talking and moving photos. A shot of old pain lanced through her as she remembered how she'd clung to Severus for support. He was at the Slytherin table now, with Crabbe and Goyle, bent over the Daily Prophet and laughing.

Thankfully Mary arrived to distract her from those thoughts.

"What's up Lil?" she called, her voice way too chipper in the morning. Mary slid beside her and plucked one of her sausages off her plate and crammed it into her mouth. Lily yawned and sat up straight, rubbing her eyes.

"Couldn't sleep. That damn spell didn't work. I'm going to have to go see Slughorn after Herbology. Hopefully he'll give me an extension."

Despite her mouth being full of sausage and ketchup, Mary managed to make a neutral sound. Having had much experience dealing with her best friend, Lily knew exactly what she meant and grinned tiredly.

"Yeah, I know he will. Still, I may be unpleasantly surprised one day." She chugged the rest of her pumpkin juice. "C'mon, Sprout will dock us if we're late." And together they leapt up from the table and sprinted towards the greenhouses.

They managed to make it just in time, and slipped onto a bench with Lucy AnnGrove and Olivia Penmarch. Both of them were giggling to themselves, though trying to be quiet about it. Mary leaned forwards and asked what was wrong.

"James Potter," was Lucy's reply, and Lily's attention was no longer on Professor Sprout's lecture on Venomous Tentacula. "He just asked Olivia to Hogsmeade next weekend." They both erupted into silent giggles. Mary seemed unsure of whether or not to look disgusted or happy at the news. Lily swallowed the lump in her throat and choked out, "Like on a date?" Olivia nodded and more giggles ensured.

Lily looked around the room and caught his eye. Had he been looking at her this whole time? Did he know what they were talking about? She covered the left side of her face with her hair, and stole another look at him. He was certainly looking at them, as if trying to figure out if someone had cast a Cheering charm on them, or if they'd become slightly mad. Lily felt her heart speed up, took a deep breath and focussed on Professor Sprout, determined to avoid James Potter's gaze, name and all things related to him.

After Herbology, Lily walked Mary to her Arithmancy class, and Lily headed toward Slughorn's office. She turned the first corner to his office, and ran straight into James Potter. He managed to catch her before she lost her balance, holding her in his arms lightly.

"Whoa, whats up Lil?"

"Lil?"

"Well yeah," he said, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. "Since you made it abundantly clear last night that Evans is not your only name, I thought I'd try a better nickname. How 'bout it Lil?"

"I think you haven't earned the right to call me Lil." She replied coldly, acutely aware he was still holding her and even more aware that she seemed to be ok with it. He blinked at her.

"Ouch, that hurts Evans." He dropped his arms and Lily shuddered in silent relief. "I thought we were becoming friends."

"Becoming," she stressed, again wondering why she was letting him get his way, something she had opposed since they were eleven years old in a stuffy train compartment. James smiled.

"Ah, so what was the rush?"

Lily began walking down the corridor, and was both pleased and irritated to hear James' footfalls following her. "Well if you must know, I need to see Slughorn, my essay is going to be late."

"Which essay?" he asked, keeping pace with her. Lily rolled her eyes, only half-heartedly.

"The one on Golpalott's Third Law and how it applies to our antidote to our own blended poison." James scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"You know, now that you mention it, I think I remember it." He rummaged in his rucksack and brought out a piece of parchment that was covered in small, neat handwriting. He opened it to its full length and analysed it thoroughly. "Now, I happened to find this gem next to the common room fire last night." Lily covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide. "Now, it is no longer covered in drool and smudged ink, but I think it will pass." He threw Lily a cocky glance. "What do you think?"

"Oh give me that!" she cried, tearing it from his hands, her eyes wide with joy. "How on earth did you fix it?"

"With a wave of my wand and my sheer charm," he replied cheekily.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." She scoffed, though she couldn't stop smiling. James laughed, and for the first time it didn't give her the urge to hex him. "Thank you James." She said, sincerely.

"Any time Lily," he replied, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Maybe you can make it up to me next weekend?" Lily looked at him quizzically. "Hogsmeade, I'm in need of a new sugar quill for Charms."

The elated feeling quickly deflated. "Aren't you going with Olivia Penmarch?" James cocked his head.

"Ah, so that's why you were so shy in Herbology."

Lily felt her cheeks redden. "I was just shocked."

"So you weren't jealous?"

Lily rounded on him. "Jealous? Of you and her? Why would I be? What gave you that idea?" Her voice got higher and higher with each question, until she was pretty sure only bats could have heard her last question. James' look of horror was growing each second. "Thank you for my essay Potter, now if you excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

And she stormed off, her heart beating fast against her ribs, while James loud call followed her down the corridor, echoing in her mind.

"Stop lying to yourself Evans!"


	4. Revelation

The black lake looked so peaceful in the late morning light. Lily sat in the shade of the huge tree, hugging her knees and thinking to herself. Sometimes if she concentrated really hard, she could remember her eleven year old self being by this lake...

"_Severus," she cried, pointing into the watery depths, "I think I saw something moving in there!" Severus stood beside her, looking carefully where she pointed. _

"_It was probably the giant squid," he declared, so confident, so smart. Lily looked back at the lake in equal parts horror and awe. Severus smiled at the expression on her face and talked her away from the lake and they started walking, casually at ease with each other._

"Lily!"

The shout jolted her back to the present. She turned and saw Severus running towards her, his long robes flapping at his heels. She was instantly on guard, but with none of his worthless friends about she relaxed slightly.

"Hello Severus," she greeted him through gritted teeth. He noticed and his smile dropped.

"Can't you even..."

"No Severus," she shouted, jumping to her feet. "No I cannot. We have nothing else to say to one another. You picked your way and I chose mine. I'm not having this conversation again. Last year you tried over and over again to apologize for what you did, but you can't. You have no argument in this, no explanation. This is our last year here Severus, it's too late to change now."

"Please Lily, we used to be best friends, I know tha..."

"You were my friend Sev," his face brightened at her use of his old nickname, "but now... I'm sorry Sev, but I can't be your friend anymore."

"Lily," his voice was desperate now. "Please, I just want..."

"Well well, isn't this a gathering." Lily turned around and wanted the giant squid to swallow her whole. James Potter leant against the tree trunk, the cloak from the other night tucked under his arm. He was looking at Severus with disgust, but he made no move to reach for his wand. Severus, however, had his pointed directly at James' nose.

"I don't believe we asked for your input Potter," he said softly, his eyes black with fury. Lily stared between the two boys, unsure of what to do.

James' eyes never left Severus', "C'mon now Sev," he reasoned. "You're going to jinx me in front of Lily? You think that will help your cause?" Severus' look of loathing somehow deepened. James continued, "Put it away Severus, and walk away."

"Severus!" Lily breathed, her hand clutched against her chest. Severus glanced at her briefly before continuing his staring match with James, but Lily knew he was listening. "Sev, please, this isn't helping. Just...just put the wand away and," she gulped, "We'll talk later alright? Alright Sev?"

Severus gave James one last look of detest and casually flared his wand. James was rocketed back, landing on a crumpled heap twelve feet away and Severus was already heading back toward the castle. Lily threw Severus a look of pity, then hurried to James' side. James was clutching his side and coughing.

"Are you ok?" she asked, helping him up. She let him lean on her, her hand around his waist and his arm over her shoulders. James grimaced.

"I'll be fine." He assured her, taking a laboured step and almost falling on his face. "Whoa," he said, swaying a little. "Although maybe I should swing by the hospital wing."

Lily helped him across the lawn, trying to distract herself from the fact that his lips were brushing against her hair. As they hobbled over the entrance hall, they ran into Lupin who was leaving the Great Hall.

"Prongs!" he cried, hurrying over to James. "Oh jeez, what happened?"

"Severus," answered Lily, as Lupin took James' other side and helped support him. "They ran into each other again." Lupin frowned, but didn't pursue the topic.

"Where's Sirius?"

Lily shrugged while James only said, "In the dormitory." Lupin looked dismayed. When they reached the hospital wing and found Madam Pomfrey, she sighed and pointed to a bed in the middle of the room. "What happened?" she asked, coming over while Lupin and Lily helped James lie down.

"Severus hexed him," Lily said, turning to the nightstand and pouring a glass of water. She handed the water to James while Madam Pomfrey began waving her wand and muttering incantations. James accepted the water gratefully, and lay back on his pillow.

"Will I live?" he asked mockingly. Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at him.

"You just have a broken rib."

"That explains why it hurts to breathe."

Lupin watched worriedly as James' ribs began to mend; Lily just watched James. Not too long ago James would have hexed Severus in a heartbeat when his back was turned. But at the lake, he had announced hi s presence, hadn't even drawn his wand on Severus despite the obvious temptation to. Where was the boy she knew and hated: the boy who jinxed people for fun, pulled pranks almost as bad as Peeves, who annoyed her incessantly? As she stared down and the black haired, bespectacled boy lying below her, she realised something.

Maybe, just maybe, James Potter had changed.


	5. Midnight Magic

Midnight Magic

It was already past midnight, but Lily still couldn't sleep. She'd tried everything, but short of drinking a potion, she couldn't sleep. She sat up, reached for her dressing gown and made her way down to the common room. The fire was burning low in the grate, illuminating the room in a soft glow. She walked towards the comfy armchair in front of the fire, and curled herself into it, watching the fire embers dance softly in the grate. If she let her mind relax, the flames made various patterns when they danced. Entwining with the smoke it was like watching a Muggle magician cast illusions to an audience. She shivered, but not from the cold.

"Are you okay Lily?"

The whisper came from behind the armchair, shocking her. It was James, his hair an unruly mess and his glasses askew on his face. She sunk back into the chair as James came to sit in front of the chair, watching the flames with her.

"What are you doing up?" she asked, only half interested in his reply. The flames glittered in his glasses lens, hazel and orange peering out from them. James leant against her chair, half turned toward her and half turned toward the fire.

"I heard someone in the common room. I thought an intruder had slipped in."

"And you were going to singlehandedly fight him off?" Lily asked, lightly teasing him. James gave a quiet bark of laughter. Lily smiled at the sound.

"Well, I did once dream I was a dashing knight and saved everyone at Hogwarts from a dragon."

"Like Sir Cadogen?" Lily asked, remembering the mad knight from a painting on the seventh floor. She and Mary had gotten lost on the way to Astronomy in their first year and had foolishly asked him for directions. James turned to her, his face suddenly serious.

"Lily, are we friends now?"

Lily thought for a moment. The past few days had certainly made it seem that way. Her potions essay saviour, her saviour of awkward conversations with Severus. He hadn't showed his usual arrogance either. She studied him carefully, taking note of the way his hazel eyes shone with the hope they could be friends; the way his hair stuck up over his head, like a nerdy hedgehog. She opened her mouth to answer, but James pressed a finger to her lips.

"Before you say anything, can I? Look, I know we've had our differences in the past, but we're no longer thirteen anymore. I know you don't think of me in any way other than annoying and that your friendship is the best I can ever hope to receive. I'm not asking you for more. I'm just asking that when we see each other in the halls it's not irritation at me that you feel first."

"You definitely don't act thirteen anymore," Lily noted, pulling her dressing gown tighter. She looked down for a moment then back up again, this time with a genuine smile on her face. "Yes, yes we're friends."

James looked as though a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Finally!" he exclaimed, collapsing against her legs. Lily laughed and pretended to bat him away.

"Out of interest how long have you been planning that speech?" James looked a little sheepish.

"Well the first draft came out just after out OWL's. I practised it for a bit on Sirius during our sixth year..."

"Oh that's why you guys always seemed to have those deep, meaningful talks," interrupted Lily, "Every girl had bets on whether you two were in love."

James laughed. "And what outcome did you bet on?" Lily tapped her nose and refused to answer. James continued, "And I finalised it this summer, with the help of Lupin."

"How is Lupin?" Lily asked. She hadn't seen him since the day before when he'd helped carry James to the hospital wing. James hesitated for a moment before saying, "He's gone back home for a few days. You know he goes home every month to see his ill mother."

"So soon already?" Lily said, her voice sad. "Haven't the Healers been able to cure her?"

James paused before saying, "I do not know. Lupin doesn't like to talk about it much."

Lily understood that much. Her father had died just when term had ended last year. She hadn't spoken to anyone about it, aside from Dumbledore, who had eased her worries. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head, causing James to jump away in shock.

"Well, I'm going to bed," she said, standing up and stretching again. James feigned looking hurt.

"Am I that boring?" he asked in mock horror. Lily laughed and started walking toward the girl's dormitory's stairs. She turned at the last step. "Goodnight James," she said, smiling at him and turning up the stairs one at a time.

James remained frozen by the fire. A slight snigger came from beside the portrait hole. James whipped his head and threw an empty ink bottle at the direction. A hand appeared from nowhere and caught it.

"Look at our James all grown up." Came Sirius' voice from nowhere. James rolled his eyes and moved towards the portrait hole. Reaching out until he felt the familiar touch of his invisibility cloak, he yanked it up and slipped underneath it, beside Sirius and Peter.

"C'mon Sirius, before you start bursting into a love song."

Sirius laughed. "Hey, I'm not the once in love." He crooned, pushing open the portrait hole door and leading them down the corridor. "You've fancied Lily for, let's see, ever! And only now you've decided to ask her to be friends? If I have to hear one more 'Lily this' or 'Lily that' or see a heart with L.E in its centre on anymore of our nightstands before you've erased them, I swear, I'm going to hunt myself some stag legs."

"Shhh," Peter whispered, clearly terrified. They were in the entrance hall now. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Peter we've been doing this for almost two years, if we haven't been caught yet I think we're in the clear."

"Stop it you two," snapped James, unlocking the front door quietly. "We're already late for Lupin, and I'm not calming him down this time."

Sirius muttered something under his breath too low to make it out. Finally, the door was open and the three of them trekked the familiar path the the Whomping Willow. All the way there, all James could think about was how beautiful Lily had looked beside the fire, the flames dancing in her hair.


End file.
